If the InuYasha Cast was in the Real World
by Chibi Horsewoman
Summary: I was writing another one of my stories when this idea hit me so I had to try it out. Somewhat more advanced summary inside
1. If Sesshomaru was in the Real World

If the InuYasha Cast was in the Real World 

**Summary: This is just another off the wall idea thought up by yours truly. It examines what could be in store for the characters of InuYasha if they were in the real world. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha or any other characters who either hang out with or have a sudden urge to kill InuYasha. I own half a bag of Frito Lay Honey BBQ twists and the Book if Roast Beef Could Fly by Jay Leno. You sue me for damages caused by reading my stories, that's what you'll get.**

**Chapter One: If Sesshomaru Lived in the Real World.**

            If Sesshomaru lived in the real world, he'd have a lot of changes to make in his life.

            First off he'd have to go out and get a job that didn't include attempting to steal the Tetsusaiga from his brother. Possibilities he could try would be a tour guide, an anthropology or ancient history teacher or a model.

            Unfortunately the tour guide idea would really only work in Japan showing historical sites to tourists. The history teacher could possibly work out a bit better. He could teach ancient history at a local college and focus on mythology or anthropology. I think many of Sesshomaru's fan girls would most like to see him as a model. However, he could possibly get overly temperamental and end up tear up the expensive designer clothes therefore placing him in extreme debt. In that conclusion, the career in teaching ancient history or anthropology. That way, he could talk about what he knows and if he tore his clothes up it wouldn't put him in debt.

            But perhaps Sesshomaru would surprise us all and get his own talk show. While on the talk show he could try to give advice to people who need it most. Like I don't know, those who are in love but don't know how to tell the other person. Because as they say, those who can't do teach, those who can't take advice give it, or something to that effect.

            Getting back to the tearing of clothing-Sesshomaru would also have to work on anger management. Yes, he's usually a calm and collected youkai, but at times even that Sesshomaru loses his cool and turns into a giant white dog. In the real world you can't turn into a giant dog, white or other wise every time your brother takes something you wanted.

            Speaking of InuYasha, Sesshomaru would probably be expected to partake in some sort of family counseling which may result in the great inu youkai letting his feelings out. For instance we could all finally learn why he hates his younger brother so much and why he has such a total dislike towards humans. The family psychiatrist would probably delve into Sesshomaru's childhood and dig up some hidden trauma from his fifth birthday when his father bought him hockey equipment when he wanted to learn to be a ballerina. After such a session, Sesshomaru would admit to wanting a closer relationship with his brother and spill out another thousand dollars or so per session until he either goes broke or feels cured.

             As for Rin Sesshomaru would have to enroll her in school so she could begin interacting with other children her age and learn to speak properly. Sesshomaru would have to learn to be an involved parent and attend parent teacher meetings where he would learn about Rin's grades and behavior. While talking to the teacher Sesshomaru would probably learn that Rin cared about other children and brought them flowers when they felt sad. He would also learn that his surrogate daughter has a bad habit of talking in third person and her teacher is perplexed as to why she does such a thing. To this Sesshomaru would probably reply 'This Sesshomaru Sama will speak to Rin about her talking in third person.' After that, the teacher would probably enroll both of them in speech class.

            And don't even get me started on how Sesshomaru would have to adjust to the modern world. He'd probably flip out and attack a toaster or some poor defenseless microwave. Yes, that Tai youkai would have to hire someone to teach him the basics of modern living, including driving a car, starting a check account balancing a check book and pumping gas. The poor doggy would probably fall over by the end of his first week.

            Well, this ends my first installment of **If the InuYasha Cast was in the Real World. ** Come back again when I find another new character to dissect for the enjoyment of my readers.

            **That's the end of my first chapter. So was it good or bad? Let me know. And tell me who you want in the next chapter. Thank You.**


	2. If Koga was in the Real World

If the InuYasha Cast was in the Real World 

**Disclaimer: I own a can of Mountain Dew and a can of Diet Coke with Arabic writing does that I mean I can have InuYasha tachi as well? No, well, forget you then. **Forces Lawyers to eat some paprika flavored Potato Chips****

**Authoress's note: Maiden of Darkness reviewed first and suggested either Koga or Miroku next. Koga seemed like the most fun to play with so he's next.**

**Chapter Two: If Koga Lived in the Real World**

            If Koga were ever fortunate enough to be in the real world he'd have to go through many changes in order to survive. 

The first change would be his outfit since the men's skirt phase never really caught on anywhere. Koga would have to find a way to get a new wardrobe since that fur undoubtedly smells bad enough to choke a skunk. And being a wolf youkai, he'd have to hide his tail as well. Enter the amazing invention of boxers and baggy pants. Koga could buy five pairs of jeans and a few packages of boxers and cover the tail up. To go along with the baggy look he could also buy quite a few t-shirts with humorous sayings to make people notice him. One I would suggest would be '**I'm just like a superhero. Only without the powers and motivation.**' 

After getting new clothes Koga would have to enroll in school because he looks to be only fifteen or so. I don't know what the educational laws are in Japan, but in New York State you have to be in school at fifteen. Koga would take such fine classes as English, Modern Japanese, Geometry, Chemistry Classical Japanese and Gym. Given that he's such a hot head Koga will undoubtedly blow up the chemistry lab after he does this, the school will try to call the parents he doesn't have. Of course, something that could help him get along would be the shikon shards in his legs. One look at him running and the track coach would want Koga on the track team. So maybe if he became some kind of track star, the school would forget about that unfortunate lab incident.

Ah, but I've forgotten the other important part of living in the real world. Something Sesshomaru had to deal with first, getting a job. Since Koga is somewhere between fifteen and sixteen years of age and I don't know how they do labor in Japan, I'm going to go with New York State laws which I have experience with. Since he's so young, Koga will have to do menial labor such as a grocery store cashier where he'll make about $6.00 an hour. However, when his supervisors send him out to push carts and carry groceries for old ladies, who will tell him he's cute then tell him that they need to go to the eye doctor soon, he'll probably get tips. Not too big since he's Koga, but tips none the less.

And of course, since when you register for school you have to put in your place of residence and making $6.00 an hour at some grocery store where you only work about fifteen hours a week doesn't pay rent. Koga will have to find someone to room with and who better to room with than some parents I just invented? That way after Koga blows up the chemistry lab, there's someone for the principal to call.

So there you have it, Koga's experiences in the real world and what he'd have to deal with if he ever came here. 

**If you're reading the type here that means that you've come to the end of the second chapter. Please review and let me know whether I should do Miroku or Jaken for my next victim…I mean subject.**


	3. If Jaken was in the Real World

If the InuYasha Cast was in the Real World 

**Disclaimer: I can't even afford to pay attention, why would I be able to afford InuYasha?**

Chapter Three: If Jaken was in the Real World 

Oh, this one is a load of fun. From what I've seen Jaken possesses quite a few character flaws which would greatly inhibit him from leading a productive life in normal society, IE the real world.

Well, first things first, we need to find Jaken a job. Since he obviously lacks both brains and an education past eighth grade he could work at McDonalds. Of course, Jaken seems to share a hatred of humans with his master, Sesshomaru Sama. So, the managers at McDonald's would place him in the grill area where he can sweat over a grill heating up cow parts. At times he would take a break from the grill to either toss chicken parts into a vat of boiling vegetable oil or run back to the freezer for more cow and chicken parts. Who knows, maybe some day Jaken would be employee of the month. Or fired in three days for arguing with his 'lowly human manager'. But let's be optimistic, shall we? Because Jaken needs a place to live which is our next order of business.

As you've read in the first paragraph Jaken works at McDonalds. What you don't know is how much Jaken is making, okay, maybe you do if you've ever worked in the fast food industry. Jaken is making minimum wage, which is hardly enough to put gas in a Yugo let alone buy groceries and rent and apartment. But lets pretend that the world is cheap. Jaken makes six twenty-five an hour and works thirty-six hours a week so his net pay is two hundred twenty-five dollars a week. So Jaken goes and rents a cheap apartment and collects cans and bottles to buy groceries. He also takes the bus to work, but all of that is really boring so let's move on to a more exciting paragraph.

Jaken has a serious problem with humans, as everyone is very well aware of. This problem is so bad that his team leader suggests that Jaken go to see a psychologist about his obsessive hatred of humans, which isn't advocated in the real world.

Jaken's experiences with his psychologist are very amusing. The very first day of these continuous visits Jaken attempts to smack the psychologist over the head with his staff. The psychologist counter-attacks with her clipboard and legal pad. At the end of the first session Jaken makes a comment about her ugly shoes and she boots him out of the tenth floor window and charges the company triple her usually hourly fee.

After a few more visits Jaken reveals that part of his hatred of humans is because he was constantly teased about being green. He ends up learning the _'It's not Easy Being Green'_ song by Kermit The Frog. In fact Jaken becomes a huge Kermit the Frog fan and never misses and episode of Sesame Street and buys all the muffet movies because they have Kermit in them. In the end Jaken gets committed to a hospital because of his frog obsession. I guess some people err…demons aren't ready for the real world.

Okay that was short, sweet and unbelievably stupid. But hey, it involved Jaken so it had some sort of humor, right? Okay well, please review. Or don't review, this is just something I have up to reduce stress. But if it brings anyone else enjoyment I would like to know.


	4. If Miroku was in the Real World

If The InuYasha Cast was in the Real World 

**Disclaimer: I do hereby apologize to anyone who has read this story and suffered. It was not my intention to do so.**

**Author's Note: I kind of like doing this story since there aren't many people reading it and I don't feel the need to impress anyone__**

            **Chapter Four: If Miroku was in the Real World**

If Miroku was in the real world, there would be a bit of trouble. However it would offer some amusement to almost everyone involved.

            First off for Miroku to survive in the real world he'd have to work very hard to stop groping women and asking them to bear his child. Why? Because in the real world of the twenty-first century groping and asking someone to have your child is considered sexual harassment. Miroku would get slapped with something even worse than Sango's hiraikotsu he'd get slapped with a lawsuit. It's not that Miroku probably wouldn't get whacked upside the head with a purse; I think he would. It's just that I believe after a while he'd get whacked with a lawsuit.

            After he got the lawsuit, Miroku would probably go to court to plead his case. While pleading his case he's have to explain about the curse on his hand, which the judge may or may not buy. Let's assume that the judge buys the story about his cursed hand. So then Miroku is free to go.

            Of course, when Miroku goes to court for the whole sexual harassment thing the judge will also determine that Miroku is about sixteen years of age and should be in school. So, Miroku ends up attending the same high school as Koga. This leads to some interesting events such as Miroku and Koga becoming lab partners and joining forces to blow up the chemistry lab. The blowing up of the chemistry lab will result in a call home to parents, which Miroku doesn't seem to have so we have to make parents up for him because it's cruel not to give a kid at least one adult to blame for his rebellion against the civilized world. I think that we could scavenge that monk from the episode where he was attacked by the praying mantis demon. Yes, he'd make the perfect parent for Miroku

            So, now that he has the job, the guardian and the lawsuit I'd say that Miroku is just about ready for the real world. Except that he needs clothes. Clothes that don't make him look like a monk. Maybe something from American Eagle because we don't want to be cliché and say everyone from InuYasha when you stick them in the modern era is suddenly a gothic punk with a need to wear arm warmers and chains. Besides, I think the little lecher would look rather cute in a pair of baggy jeans and a button down shirt with the two top buttons open.

            So concludes Miroku's chapter in the real world.

            **Thank you to any of my reviewers next I think I'll do InuYasha. _That_ shall be my longest chapter in this series.**


	5. If InuYasha was in the Real World

**If the InuYasha Cast was in the Real World**

** Disclaimer: I apologize to everyone who held their breath for a new chapter, but do you have any idea how much energy a four month old takes up? But yeah, I still don't own InuYasha.**

** Chapter Five: If InuYasha was in the Real World**

If InuYasha was in the real world he'd have to wear a hat so his ears would be hidden and protected from small children who have a tendency to grab at things like ears. Since a hat would be a standard part of InuYasha's wardrobe he'd have to go to a hat store and stock up on hats. And since I'm writing this and I'm a Yankees fan the majority of hit hats would be hats with the New York Yankees symbol on them, so it's good that InuYasha lives in Japan and not Boston. He could have baseball hats, some bandanas and some beanies. The beanies would look really cute on him, but he'd probably chose the baseball caps to keep the sun out of his eyes.

InuYasha also needs other clothes besides his red haori. Since he's wearing baseball hats I think some clothes along the lines of Miroku's should work. So, American Eagle, Pac Sun and maybe Zumiez. The Zumiez is because I think InuYasha would make a cute skater guy and I don't want all those beanies to go to waste. Besides, knowing InuYasha he'd start collecting Zumiez stickers.

Ok, now that InuYasha has clothes it's time to decide where he's going to live and send him to school. Because he _needs_ to go to school dur. Long story short, InuYasha would live with Sesshomaru because he has nowhere else to go. Sesshomaru has gone through therapy, as seen in chapter one of this story, and has come to terms with his feelings for his brother. Besides, what better way to prove that he's cured than to allow InuYasha into his home?

So, InuYasha moves in with Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru gives him an allowance of ten dollars a week. He has to watch Rin, clean the bathrooms, the kitchen and his room. He also has to take out the trash and do his laundry. Yes, Sesshomaru is a cheap SOB.

Now for school, as expected InuYasha attends high school and he hangs out with Miroku. They're in most of the same classes until they talk too much and their teachers have to switch their schedules around, now it's just lunch art gym and chemistry. Chemistry is a big mistake. Big **_huge_** mistake. Why? Because he and Miroku talk Koga into mixing a bunch of chemicals together to blow up the science lab. The teacher finds out and makes InuYasha become Kagome's lab partner. You'll find out who Miroku's lab partner is next chapter and if you think it's Sango you're wrong. When Sesshomaru finds out that InuYasha has blown up the lab he grounds his little brother and takes away his allowance. Yeah, it sucks to be InuYasha, but at least he has a home.

**Well, there you have it. Months of waiting and preparation and all it took me was two days and some insanity. Enjoy.**


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